Philippine Consulate General Speech
To be read by James Bradley Mayran Parente at the Philippine Consulate General in New York, at their 10th Annual Philippine Graduation Ceremony on Saturday, May 27th, 2023.
———————————————————————
START
Consul General Senen T. Mangalile. Ms. Ruth Galiza. Members of the Philippine Consulate General in New York. Family and friends of my fellow graduates. I am humbled, privileged, and honored to give this speech before you all today.
Reflecting on my upbringing in the United States as a 22 year old Filipino-American, I think of the struggle that I had grappling between my Filipino identity and my American identity. Notice how I separated those two things. I am Filipino. I am American. Between the ages of 5 and 18, I woke up in my Chicago suburban home to eight full-Filipino relatives getting ready for work while I was getting ready to go to school with my American classmates of many different races and ethnicities. I then returned home to once again be a full Filipino again. For almost 13 years of my life, I was used to code switching between speaking with a Visayan Taglish accent at home and my full American English accent everywhere else. I never knew why I did that. It just came naturally to me.
When I attended university, I began to ask myself the question: Why are you code switching between your Filipino and American identity? After years of deliberation, experiences, mistakes, and lessons, I have come up with my interdisciplinary answer.
I code switched because I, like many of my fellow Filipino-Americans in the audience today, had to unknowingly navigate living in the United States knowing that there was sometimes a cultural clash between my family’s Filipino values and what we saw from our own eyes, ears, and mouths, what was the average American family way of life.
For my new colleagues in the audience that flew from the Philippines or elsewhere and completed their undergraduate and/or graduate degrees in the United States, I think it’s safe to say that the way of life here is different from back in the motherland. Filipino tradition has taught us to do mano po to our elders. Filipino tradition has taught us to begin celebrating Christmas starting with the “ber” month of September. I’m starting to realize how important September is to Filipinos because not only does it start off the Christmas season. I inevitably have to line dance to Earth, Wind, and Fire’s song “September” at any Filipino gathering. American tradition has taught us to stand up for yourselves, even if it means talking back to those that are older than us or more powerful than us. American tradition has taught us that if we're too lazy to cook, we can just drive to a fast food drive thru to satisfy our cravings.
What I’ve realized from my reflection on my life is that what unites Filipino and American traditions is you must work hard to get what you want and where you want to be. For Americans, we’re taught that if we work hard, Uncle Sam will reward us accordingly. Some Filipinos choose to come to the United States to live out the “American Dream”. Unfortunately, for Americans and Filipinos alike, getting what you want from hard work alone is not enough.
Prejudice has hindered progress for too many qualified and caring people in the United States. American history textbooks have taught us Americans that we have a hard pill to swallow for the atrocities that were done to people of color. The impacts of these harsh conditions experienced by people of color are still felt today, even if the overt prejudice no longer exists.
For Filipinos that immigrate to the United States, you had a tough pill to swallow of being over 6000k miles away from your family back in Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao. Many of you had to keep your head up high every day while you went to work as a maintenance worker, nurse’s assistant, nursing home attendant, or another job, but then inevitably cry back at home because you missed the tender loving care and touch of your parents, siblings, or friends. Despite how much our parents complain about us always spending our time glued to our phones, they don’t realize how privileged we all are to WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger text, call, or video call our relatives in the Philippines. Technology has been such a saving grace for us all, especially during the Pandemic.
For over 8 years of my life, starting from when I first entered elementary school, instead of going directly from classes to swimming practice or theater rehearsals, I always took the bus back home to care for my grandparents. We cooked food together, played Scrabble together, watched Oprah and Tom & Jerry together, and prayed at the dinner table together.
Around when I first entered high school, when my family decided to have my grandparents return to the Philippines to spend their last years of life in their childhood hometown, that’s when I began to be lost in what my identity was. My Filipino identity and tradition to care for my elders was now gone.
What did I have left? I only had my academics and willingness to learn left. So, I told myself to get good grades to make my family proud, because I was one of only a handful of my long line of cousins to have the privilege of receiving an education in the United States instead of attending the primary, secondary, and colleges in Santa Margarita and Calbayog City, Western Samar.
When I first entered the University of Pennsylvania, I thought that I had made it. I would become the first member of both the Mayran and Parente family and the lineage of Azurins, Del Rosarios, and Obongs to graduate from a U.S. university, let alone an Ivy League university. But it was not all rainbows and sunshine. In fact, it wasn’t rainbows and sunshine the majority of time. The majority of my time was spent figuring out how to balance my academics while also creating friendships, applying to clubs and securing internships and jobs.
What happened to me? I got burnt out. Burnt out to the point that I thought I was going to leave, never finishing my college degree in my senior year at Penn because I had developed severe academic burnout, anxiety, and depression. In my lowest times in University, I had a lot of time to pray and ponder, “Why am I like this? What got me to this low point today?”
In those times that I was a hermit to the world, I realized that I was living a life that I thought I should live rather than a life that I had passion for and wanted to live. I always separated my Filipino and American identity. Now, I choose to lean into both of them together, and share both of my cultures to the world as a proud Filipino-American. After getting through all of my late assignments and writing my independent research topic on the history of burnout in nursing, I realized that I should explore graduate degrees and careers before fully committing to obtaining my doctor of medicine. Now, I’m using my first few postgraduate years to explore different paths before applying to medical school, business school, or law school.
Graduates, many of our parents, guardians, and older relatives did not have this luxury of studying whatever they wanted in their college years or initial professional careers. Your families and friends that are with you here or in spirit are so proud of you for getting your associates, bachelor’s, master’s, doctorates, and certificates, because we were honored and privileged with being given the American Dream of creating our own story.
So graduates, whenever you get a little irritated or annoyed by your parents, titos, titas, lolos, or lolas, remember that they grew up with a different set of resources and responsibilities on their hands. Be gracious to them. I, especially, have to remind myself to be gracious to my family. Channel your irritation towards understanding. Ask yourself, “Am I fully understanding my family’s previous experience? Are they trying to teach us how to make kaldereta or arroz caldo so that we can cook it by ourselves? Even though it stinks up the entire house for days, am I going to miss the days that my parents’ family friends came to our home to catch up over bulad, salted peanuts, sunflower seeds? Are my next of kin going to experience this same breadth of Filipino tradition and language?”
So graduates, please now turn to your family and friends now and say thank you for all that they have done.
Graduates, we have a long road ahead. You will be tested to balance our traditions with our contemporary and ever-innovating world. So today, I ask you all to please do me one favor. In the spirit of being in The Philippine Consulate General’s Office, be ambassadors of Philippine and American culture everywhere you go. Because while you are all Filipino-Americans, we all at one point had to navigate how to combine our Filipino and American heritage. Go about the world wanting to educate and to be educated. And, above all, remember to love thy neighbor as you would yourself. Be resilient. Be caring. Be hospitable.
Congratulations sa inyong lahat. Maraming salamat.
END
